WhiteDove Weddings

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a humanist wedding a legal marriage?

No  - you will still need to have a civil marriage performed by one of the Deputies Registrar-General at the Greffe.  The civil ceremony is very short and has a clearly defined format.  For many couples this legal marriage ceremony does not offer them the opportunity to share their own feelings about each other and they choose to have a humanist wedding celebration as well.

When is the civil ceremony done?

You can complete the civil marriage at the Greffe before your humanist wedding celebration.  The civil ceremony takes about ten minutes and the marriage room at the Greffe accommodates around 35 guests. You can then arrange your Humanist wedding celebration at any time and at any venue as there are no further legal requirements to be completed.

If you prefer that your legal marriage and wedding celebration are held at the same time then you can arrange for the civil ceremony to take place at certain times in either the Whittaker Hall or the Dorey Room in St James Concert & Assembly Hall or at a private residence where the ceremony must take place ‘within four walls’.

These civil marriages can only take place on weekdays and the legal ceremony must be performed at the start of the proceedings. Once the legal formalities including the signing of the register are completed then the Registrar General will hand over to the Humanist celebrant who will continue with the ceremony to celebrate your marriage.

Does the Humanist ceremony follow a specified format?

There are no hard and fast rules about how a Humanist wedding celebration is structured and the celebrant will work closely with you and your families to create something that right for you. Many couples do like the idea of a ‘traditional’ style wedding but simply without the religious elements while others may prefer their special day to be more unusual.
Generally we would expect to have some words of welcome, some thoughts on love and marriage, maybe  a brief history of your love story,  the making of promises to each other and finally closing words and good wishes. Often contributions such as poems and readings by friends and family are included.

Can we decide on our own promises?

Yes – you can both say what you feel is appropriate for you both in a way that you feel comfortable with. You may choose to write your own promises or choose from some more standard wording. On the day you may read your promises, repeat the words after me or simply answer ‘yes’ or ‘I do’ in response.

Do you need to exchange rings at the civil ceremony?

No – although this can be part of the legal ceremony it is not essential and you can leave the exchange of rings or other tokens until your Humanist celebration.

Can other friends and family take part in the Humanist ceremony?

Yes of course.  You may like to have poems or readings as part of the ceremony or have special roles for younger family members. The choice is yours and we will work together to incorporate any ideas that will make your day special. You can also include some symbolic gestures such as candle lighting and involve anyone who you would like to take a special part in your ceremony.

Do we need to sign anything at the Humanist ceremony?

If you have the legal marriage at the start of your ceremony then you will need to complete the signing of the register at the end of that part.  If however you complete the legal marriage at the Greffe before your Humanist celebration then there is no further official signing required. 
Signing a record of the occasion can be a significant part of any ceremony however and some couples choose to have a ceremonial certificate or their own wedding book to record the special day. The certificate can also be signed by witnesses who may be the same as or different from the witnessed of the legal signing.
I have several certificate designs for you to choose from or you can create your own possibly in keeping with the theme of your stationery and other designs. If you choose to use a wedding book (or include the certificate in the book) then other guests can perhaps add their good wishes and signatures at the reception.

What about music?

Music plays an important part in most special occasions and you will undoubtedly have many favourites that you would like to use in your ceremony.  Much will depend on your style of wedding – traditional classical music can give a suitable air of solemnity to the occasion especially for the entry of the bride. More contemporary pieces can make the ceremony feel more personal.  Most hotels and other venues will have suitable systems for playing CD’s but you may need to arrange for someone to operate these on the day. There are several musicians who will play at ceremonies - please feel free to ask for contacts if these would be of interest to you.

Can we hold the ceremony outdoors?

Yes – the wedding celebration can be held outdoors although if the Registrar General is performing the legal ceremony at home then this part must be indoors.